Stories

An Angel Named Betty

LaVerne greets Betty with a warm hug and a sincere thank you at the coffee shop where they are meeting to reminisce. This embrace is a sharp contrast to their first meeting several years earlier when Betty, a hospice nurse, had come to care for LaVerne’s mother.

A mother’s legacy of love comes full circle

Betty’s arrival was announced by the loud rumbling of her car, a car she affectionately called "the beater". LaVerne, heart broken, knowing her mother was dying heard "the beater" pull up around midnight. She peeked out the window and saw a stranger getting out of a rusted old Toyota. Her initial reaction was who is this person and how can I trust her with my mother?

LaVerne’s mother, Alice, dedicated her life to caring for others and she was exceptional at it. LaVerne firmly believed her mother deserved the same treatment now that she was the one in need of care.

Laverne had seven siblings. Her father, Richard, was the bread winner while Alice was the one the children went to for everything. LaVerne tells of how her mother delivered warm socks fresh from the dryer for each child in the morning so they wouldn’t have to set a foot on the cold floor. LaVerne wanted "warm sock" treatment for her mother, which is why she was there at midnight to meet Betty and why she stayed up the entire night overseeing her care.

What Laverne witnessed that evening convinced her that her mother would receive the exceptional care she had delivered to others. She looked on as Betty gently washed Alice’s hands and spoke softly to her, "What beautiful hands that took care of so many babies."

At 4:00 a.m. Betty explained that since she works nights it was time for her lunch. Then she offered LaVerne half of her sandwich and chips. LaVerne wasn’t Betty’s patient, yet Betty understood that in caring for Alice it was important to care for LaVerne as well.

As Laverne learned that evening, hospice care is not just for the patient.

Lighting the way

The decision to call Hospice had not come easy. After her family had been told Alice had 60 days to live, Alice went home with her husband Richard and together they decided they would get through this without any help from Hospice. They were firm in this decision until they had a conversation with their priest. Father Jerry knew the journey ahead would be very difficult and he knew Hospice could help. He explained it simply, "The road before you is dark and unknown, but Hospice has been down this road before and can light the way. Hospice will hold the lamp in one hand and your hand in the other." Then he spoke directly to Alice. "Richard is tired; he needs help."

With the support of Hospice, Richard was able to lovingly care for Alice, opening his children’s eyes to the depth of his compassion and tenderness. Alice passed away peacefully in her home surrounded by her husband and her children whose love for each other was growing stronger everyday.

Years have passed and yet it is apparent as LaVerne shares this story with Betty just how deeply this experience has impacted her and her family.

I Know for Sure

"Because my mom died at home with Hospice and her family caring for her, she died like she lived with dignity and grace. What a gift that was to her! But also because my father cared for her so lovingly and got the opportunity to have his wife and mother of his eight children die in the home they had built and raised their family, he changed as a result of that experience. I had a father before and now I have a Dad. He is a man who is now so caring and compassionate. What a gift that is to his children! There are few things in life that we know are 'for sure.' But as a result of our experience with the wonderful people at Hospice I do know a few things are 'for sure' and they are..."

I know that I no longer fear dying as long as there are Hospice workers in the world.

I know that it is possible to die with dignity and grace because I saw my mom do it.

I know that in my mother’s dying my father became a Dad.

And one final thing, I know for sure that there are angels on earth, that they drive old well worn Toyota cars that are in need of a muffler, and that they often go by the name of "Betty."