What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say

Have you ever had someone say something to you during a difficult situation that you know was said with good intent, but it came across as hurtful or uncomfortable? How something is said can make all the difference. Below are tips on what to say.

What to Say

  • I have been thinking about you.
  • You have been on my mind.
  • It’s okay to rest.
  • I’m right here with you.
  • Rest if you need to.
  • It’s okay to close your eyes if you are sleepy.
  • It’s okay to cry.

If you are struggling with what to say when you leave, instead of saying ‘I’ll see you next week,” say “until next time” or ”until we see each other again.”

What to Say to a Family Member
  • He/she is so fortunate to have you.
  • You are doing a great job caring for your _______.

What Not to Say

  • Things will get better.
  • My brother had this same disease, and he died within six months, etc.
  • If you just eat a little something, you will feel better.
  • This is God’s will/plan.
  • God never gives a person more than they can handle.
  • Everything will be okay.

Sitting in silence is sometimes all the other person needs. Many times he or she is comforted by just having someone present. Being comfortable with silence is a gift you can give.


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