During any visit with Mike, a Hospice of the Red River Valley patient, and his wife, Eileen, you quickly realize you’re gaining an unintentional education in grace and gratitude. The couple is warm, welcoming and unassuming. Mike faces serious health challenges, but rather than becoming bitter, they are acutely aware of the blessings and kindness surrounding them.

In mid-September, Mike began receiving care from Hospice of the Red River Valley after he decided to stop chemotherapy treatments. “Discontinuing treatment was hard, but also good, because it was wearing him down. You’re in one day for blood work, the next for treatment, the next for a shot. Going to the hospital four days a week, at times, was just too taxing for him,” Eileen explained. “My doctor suggested we talk to Hospice, so we talked to a hospice nurse that same day,” Mike said. “The transition into hospice care was seamless,” he added.

Initially, the word “hospice” was intimidating to the pair. But after witnessing first-hand the care and extra support hospice provides, they know hospice was the right choice for their family. “At first you hear hospice, and it is a little scary, but it’s not a service to be fearful of. You’ve got to run to it with open arms and let them embrace you because they’re going to help you so much. Hospice takes a lot of weight off a person’s shoulders,” Mike said.

Prior to starting hospice care, Mike and Eileen weren’t fully aware of the extent of services and equipment available through Hospice. “You think you know, but you really don’t until you experience it. I can’t say enough about hospice. We have our team, and they always call and ask if we need anything. They do not leave you wanting for anything,” Eileen shared. “What surprised me the most is that they respect our wishes. If we need something, we call and help is there. I tell you what, they are wonderful!”

Small requests to Hospice, like a different chair for the shower, have made Mike’s daily care routine easier for Eileen to manage. “It helps me take care of him. I know Hospice would be happy to come out and help me. But it’s something I want to still be able to do for him,” she said. “If I need something, I just ask, and I’ve been impressed by how quickly they’ve responded,” Mike said.

With the transition to hospice care, more guests, including Hospice staff, family and friends, have visited Mike and Eileen than usual. The extra attention and numerous good deeds have proved to be a blessing for the couple who live in rural Gardner, N.D., 35 miles north of Fargo. “People want to do something to help,” Eileen said. “And, it’s a ways out here; it’s nice having extra help, especially with winter coming.”

A new addition of a wheelchair ramp, running from the house to the garage, is a combination of the time and talents of many people, including Mike’s dad, Nils, his brother, Jon, and a Hospice volunteer, Matt, among others. The idea for a ramp came from Nils who was hoping to ease the trips in and out of the house for Mike and Eileen. “My brother and my dad came up with a pretty nice structure and drew the plans for it,” Mike said. “They [Jon and Nils] had it planned out perfectly; they knew exactly how much lumber to buy,” Eileen said.

The project came to life in just one day with the helping hands of Matt, who traveled from Fargo to assist with the build. Even though they had never met Matt before, Eileen said, “He just fit right in, and he interacted so well with our family. Everyone loved him, and he worked hard.” “What a wonderful person he is,” Mike added with a smile.

“There was really no pause. They were all open-arms and super nice right away. It was a great day,” Matt said. Originally, Matt was only planning to stay for a couple of hours, but once he got involved in the project and felt the warm, small-town community spirit around him, he knew he had to stay until the ramp was complete. “I just knew there was no way I’d be able to leave until I saw him ride that ramp,” Matt shared. “How often do you get to walk into a whole community and you’re welcomed with open arms and you all have the same goal of making someone’s life a little easier and better?” The family appreciated Matt’s help so much that they even invited him to stay for a classic Midwestern lunch — tater tot hot dish.

Now the distance to and from the car is steady and stable not only for Mike’s wheelchair, but also for his peace of mind. “I don’t have to worry about her [Eileen] falling or hurting herself now,” Mike explained. “How do you thank people for that? You feel like you have to do more or do something for them. You just have to accept what they did and move on. It is just unbelievable how nice people are.” Eileen’s feelings mirror those of her husband’s. “The ramp is just as smooth as can be—no bumps whatsoever. It means a lot to us.”

With each passing day as winter settles in, Mike and Eileen are grateful for the extra support and assistance of everyone, including Hospice. And, as Eileen says, no matter the weather, “the people are always ‘warm’ year round,” and both Mike and Eileen are thankful for that.

Mike passed away on November 29, 2014. His remaining time at home was peaceful and comfortable.

Woven tightly into the fabric of his life, sports and a sense of brotherhood remain close at heart for Dennis, Hospice of the Red River Valley patient. Even with a prognosis of five to six months to live, Dennis and his partner, Cindy, are determined to make the most of the time he has left by living life to the fullest—embracing each precious moment and new experience.

Three weeks ago, complications from a blood transfusion procedure caused by a weak heart led Dennis to hospice care. “He wanted to go home,” Cindy explained. Besides the comfort of his own home, Dennis wanted to spend more time with his family, and have the freedom to go out and about in his small rural town of Walcott.

With the assistance of Hospice staff, the past few weeks have been a true blessing, beyond measure, for the couple. Shortly after beginning hospice care, Dennis and Cindy met with Cathy, a Hospice social worker, to determine their needs. Cathy explained that during her first meeting with a patient and family, she always asks the same two questions: “Is there anything you’re worried about? Or is there anything you still want to do?” These questions sparked conversation.

“I told her about things I knew Dennis wanted to do,” Cindy said. “He’s been wanting to go to a Bison game and reunite with a long-lost Army buddy.”

“I’m always up for a challenge, and I love to surprise people and make people’s wishes and dreams come true. There aren’t too many dreams we can actually fulfill,” Cathy explained. “Most people have had their diagnosis long enough that they’ve tried to accomplish all the things they’ve wanted to do. But I thought Dennis’ dreams didn’t seem like over-the-moon requests, so we could try.”

Cathy worked diligently to secure two tickets to North Dakota State University (NDSU) Bison football game and tracked down Dennis’ Army friend, Leo, with some information provided to her by Dennis. Additionally, Cathy requested a small gift of $150 from the Hospice Institute, which Dennis will receive soon, to help offset travel expenses for the trip to visit his friend.

“I didn’t know Cathy could help with locating Leo,” Dennis shared. “That was just amazing and heart touching. She has been an angel and done a great job.”

“There are those people who are just so genuine; being able to do that for him was so great. It’s just one of those things that’s not about anybody else besides him [Dennis], and he was just so deeply appreciative,” Cathy said. “The rewards we experience from the people we meet are the best part of my job.”

On Oct. 18, 2014, Dennis attended a NDSU Bison home game with his nephew, Rick. The game was the perfect epilogue to Dennis’ decades-long love affair with Bison athletics. Dennis first became interested in the Bison 20 years earlier after taking his nephew to countless men and women’s basketball games. “My nephew more or less coaxed me along to get into the games,” he said. “And I started to really get into them after a while.” As for Bison football, the past three years have been the most enjoyable for Dennis, so the opportunity to attend the recent game with his nephew was especially sweet. “I’ve never been to a team [game] like the Bison—winning and that,” Dennis described. “It just meant everything in the world [to me].”

Just a week later, accompanied by Cindy and his stepson, Dennis was finally reunited with his friend, Leo, in Watertown, S.D. The pair spent two years together in the U.S. Army, beginning with basic training through air defense schooling, an overseas deployment and finally the ride home on the same bus after their discharge. Although 50 years had separated the two, they recognized each other immediately.

“As soon as Leo came in the door, even from quite a distance, I recognized him,” Dennis said with excitement. “I’ve always wanted to see him again. I don’t know how to explain it, [it’s] like long-lost family member. He recognized me too, and that’s all that counted.” Over a warm meal, they shared stories of their Army adventures and made plans to see each other again. “It was touching to see him again,” Dennis said. “We’re the best of friends.”

Both experiences have touched Cindy’s heart and solidified her feelings about hospice care. “I think the main stigma people have about hospice is that you don’t get on it until the last days,” she shared. “You can get on hospice and have some valid times and be active. Hospice doesn’t just mean you’re in a bed,” she explained. She urges others who may be appropriate for hospice care to look into hospice sooner rather than later. “Don’t wait to get on hospice care because they can help,” she said. When asked by loved ones if Dennis should be so active, she says, “Why not? You’ve got to do it while you’re up and about and able to.”

These special moments of life have meant so much to Dennis, but he’s most thankful for the medical care he’s received. “They’ve [Hospice staff] done a lot for me. It’s made me feel a lot better, and you couldn’t have gotten much better care anywhere else. They’re up-front with me, and I feel safe with them,” Dennis said. “They’re sticking right with me. I’d recommend it to anybody.”

Cindy has found comfort in the care Dennis receives, too, and confidence in knowing she can ask questions along the way. “I utilize the nurses; I call them and they’re really good about responding right away. So I don’t hesitate to call them to ask what’s going on,” she said. Dennis is equally pleased. “I’ve got some great nurses who know what they’re doing. They help me in every way. If they can’t answer my questions, they will check with someone else. So I always get an answer,” he said. “They’re [Hospice staff] making my last months and days enjoyable. What more could you want?”

Hospice care may not readily come to mind as an intersection for science and spirituality, but for one patient and his chaplain, the connection they’ve forged was built from discussions about these very topics.

Dr. Watson, a retired internist and a current patient receiving care from Hospice of the Red River Valley, approaches the world from a clinical, scientific perspective.

During a hospital visit in 2013, Dr. Watson’s doctors took a chest x-ray and found a mass in his right lung. They encouraged him to look into hospice care. “I said, ‘I don’t really know what that is,’” Dr. Watson said, “so my doctor explained it to me, and that’s how I got started.”

Dr. Watson is acutely aware of how important face-to-face visits are for establishing rapport with patients, and he says the visits from Hospice staff have been very helpful. “I’m glad to see them,” he shared. “They answer my questions. They check my vitals, too. It’s interesting to talk to different people.”

According to Karin, Hospice of the Red River Valley chaplain, Dr. Watson has taken great care to interview the Hospice team members. “He learns something about each one and shows interest in us not only as skilled clinicians but as people with lives outside of our professions,” she said.

Dr. Watson has been married to his wife Delores for 65 years, and they have four children. He’s always been a social person and active in his community. He is a member of the American Legion, The United Methodist Church of Detroit Lakes and was a long-time volunteer with the local Boys and Girls Club. As a band leader and trumpet player, Dr. Watson started the big band group Doc and the Scrubs and established Tuesdays in the Park, a popular music series in Detroit Lakes that continues to this day.

Not only does Dr. Watson enjoy big band and classical music, he is also an avid reader. He reads material related to his medical profession and has an equal interest in theology, church history and biblical literature. Being a critical thinker and scientist led Dr. Watson to question some of the literal understandings of scripture and the God that he grew up with, and his spirit is energized by discussions around these topics.

 

His first question during each visit with the chaplain is, “What are you reading?” Karin was inspired to read several books that Dr. Watson suggested, which enhanced their visits and conversation. “He doesn’t need answers to all the big questions,” Karin shared, “but he loves the pursuit of knowledge and understanding in and of itself. In fact, when Dr. Watson is asked about what is to follow this life, he says with a twinkle in his eye, ‘I am excited to find out.’”

Every person who receives Hospice support utilizes the skilled staff in varied ways. Dr. Watson said his visits with the chaplain are what he’s appreciated the most about Hospice. And for Dr. Watson and Karin, the relationship they’ve built has been an education in friendship.

For Bob, Hospice of the Red River Valley patient, the Pledge of Allegiance is etched in the fabric of his life and memories past, as he gazes contentedly out the window at his picturesque farmstead. He sat upright in a hospital bed in his bedroom, watching the comings and goings of life on the farm where he shared his military stories and photo albums with visitors.

After serving in three branches of the military, raising a family with his wife of 54 years, and traveling extensively for his career, Bob now enjoys quiet days on his beloved farm while receiving care from Hospice of the Red River Valley. “Hospice is number one in my book,” Bob said. “You [Hospice staff] get gold stars for the care you provide. Everyone at Hospice is so concerned with my care and superlatively friendly.”

Always a man of honor and determination, Bob possessed a remarkable work ethic, even in his youth. “After I graduated grade school, I paid my own way for high school because I wanted to go to a Catholic military academy with my friends,” Bob recalled. “So I took a paper route six days a week and Sunday— mornings and evenings—for four years. My education was important to me.”

At a young age, he also demonstrated a serious commitment to serving his country. In his junior year of high school, Bob enlisted in the newly formed U.S. Army Air Corps. After graduation in 1945, he took a discharge from the Corps as they no longer needed his services. Almost immediately he enlisted in the U.S. Navy Reserve. Following boot camp that fall, Bob was transferred to the Naval Air Station in Norman, Okla., a place with “with no water to be seen!” Bob said. His job was training pilots and gunners to safely escape downed aircrafts in water. He assisted in closing the base, including discharging himself, in the fall of 1946.

Bob enjoyed a short break from military life and enrolled at the University of Minnesota in 1946. There, he met his wife, Joan, on a blind date. “It was all over once we met,” Bob recalled. “She was it. Why she picked me, I’ll never know. She was a honey.”

Bob and Joan decided to marry, and while planning their wedding in early 1949, Bob enlisted in the Marine Corps Reserve. “Our wedding was planned for early September, but we never got to that. The Korean War began, and my entire unit was activated,” Bob explained. “We decided we would get married anyway—despite the aggravation of both sets of our parents!” On Aug. 21, Bob left for Korea. He and Joan had been married for just two weeks.

He fought in the Korean War with the 2nd Battalion, 7th Marine Regiment, 1st Marine Division. Despite having never undergone Marine basic training and having received minimal field preparation, Bob faced several battles, including the Battle of Seoul and the Battle of Uijeongbu.

“One evening in November 1950, we were attacked by three divisions of Chinese. Both my buddy and I got hit,” Bob remembered. “I had shrapnel up one side—I still have it in my hip. Once we got back to the aid station, I was shipped down to the Yokosuka Naval Hospital in Japan, where I stayed ‘til March of ’51, when I was sent home. He received a Purple Heart for being wounded in battle—a medal he displayed proudly on his bedroom wall.

“After I was finally discharge from the Marines in November 1951 and went home, that’s when Joan and I really started our life,” Bob said. He began what was to become a successful career in sales and marketing that took him all over the country, and the couple raised four children—three boys and a girl. Eventually, Bob took a job in Moorhead, Minn., and received explicit instructions from his wife. “Joan said, ‘Buy me a farm.’ So I said ‘Yes, ma’am!’” Bob shared with a smile and salute. “We could raise anything on this farm, and we did.”

Bob and Joan founded Green Hill Farms, an operation that produces and sells a wide variety of jellies and jams. Bob’s youngest son Rick and his wife Kim continue to operate the business from the farmstead.

In 1996, Bob and Joan retired and moved to Detroit Lakes, Minn. They traveled together and with friends, and enjoyed retirement. After Joan passed away in 2004, Bob admitted, “I guess I didn’t do so well living alone.”

In 2013, after several years of reporting a hoarse voice to several doctors, Bob was diagnosed with cancer of the vocal cord. He underwent radiation and surgery, and in February 2014 was deemed clear of cancer. Despite being cancer-free, Bob’s health continued to decline. In May 2014, he returned to his farm and began receiving care from Hospice of the Red River Valley.

“Honest to Pete, you guys are great,” Bob emphasized. “Everyone is so concerned and has a friendly attitude.”

“Bob welcomed all of the hospice staff into his home. He was direct and knew what he wanted—he set the framework for the care he wanted to receive,” shared Karin, chaplain with Hospice of the Red River Valley.

Bob passed away on October 15, 2014. His remaining time on the farm was peaceful and comfortable—just as it should be for a man who freely sacrificed to protect his country in three branches of the military and worked tirelessly to provide for his family. Karin affirmed, “It was both our honor and duty to care for him.”

For 365 days, Duane, Hospice of the Red River Valley patient, has received hospice care in his home, with his beloved wife, JoAnn, by his side. Each day is an adventure that Duane has met with true grit, gratitude and a little humor.

A year ago, Duane left the hospital for the last time with a three-week prognosis. His persistent heart issues led to a pattern of hospital stays, a string of discharges, ambulance rides and numerous re-admissions. “When they told me I only had three weeks left, I was out of this world,” Duane described. “At the hospital, they told me I wouldn’t return home, and that was hard.”

After these experiences and the prognosis of three weeks to live, Duane told his family, “No more,” and he called Hospice of the Red River Valley. “I was looking for some help, and Hospice provided it,” Duane said. “I didn’t want my family to have to worry about me, especially my wife.”

With such a short amount of time left, Duane was determined to get all his personal affairs in order, including finances and insurance. “I drove my daughter nuts to get everything done,” he said. “I even sent her to the funeral home to make arrangements.”

Robyn, Hospice of the Red River Valley social worker, helped Duane appoint his daughter as power of attorney. Robyn also assisted the couple in creating living wills, which was a pleasant surprise for Duane. “I didn’t know Hospice could help with so many things,” he said. “It was such a relief, and now, I feel good knowing that everything is taken care of.”

In addition to helping with his personal affairs, Hospice staff worked immediately to simplify Duane’s medications. “I’m happy to say I’m off most of the medications I was taking before I was on hospice,” Duane explained. “Every week Hospice comes in to take a look at my meds. It is a great, great feeling knowing a nurse is going to check in with us.”

Duane is most grateful for the attentive care provided by his hospice certified nursing assistant (CNA), Jerry. “When Jerry started coming to the house, I started receiving showers consistently and more trips to the bathroom, but most importantly, he helped me regain my strength,” Duane said. “We’ve walked up and down these halls, many times.” With each careful stride of the 162-step journey, Duane and Jerry grow closer, talking about movies, their mutual affinity for John Wayne and life.

“It’s been a great relationship with Jerry; we’ve had a lot of good times,” Duane explained. “He’s been as nice to me as any person can be. There’s a lot of bologna passed between us.” “I think that has added a lot to my recovery, because I don’t even think about my heart problems when we’re visiting,” he said.

Jerry has developed a mutual fondness for Duane, as well. “I look forward to seeing him,” Jerry said. “He’s a great guy with a zest for life and a good attitude, no matter what he faces.” “I think Duane is a hospice success story because he’s chosen to utilize all of the services hospice can offer to him.”

Hospice of the Red River Valley Nurse Practitioner Michelle echoes Jerry’s feelings. “Duane is such a delight,” she said. “I think his embrace of hospice care has contributed to how well he’s done under our care. He’s really taking full advantage of everything hospice care offers. A lot of people don’t have the chance to celebrate a one-year anniversary on hospice care.”

This past year has also offered Duane more moments to celebrate with his family—his 80th birthday, another Thanksgiving, Christmas and his 57th wedding anniversary. He doesn’t take this time on hospice care lightly, or what it’s meant to him. “I’m alive, and I truly believe I wouldn’t be here without Hospice,” he said. “Hospice takes care of you spiritually, medically and also offers friendship. It makes a difference when you’ve got somebody who cares; that does something for your heart.”

Despite outliving his original prognosis, Duane’s health continues to slowly decline, which makes him still eligible for hospice care. A member of Hospice’s medical team must regularly visit Duane to re-certify that he still meets the medical guidelines for care. “Everyone who has come to our home from Hospice—Jerry, Robyn, Michelle, Tom—has a genuine interest in helping me; I appreciate that,” Duane shared. “I can’t emphasize what I think about hospice enough. I don’t care what anyone else says. My experience with hospice has been great.”