Over the years, we have heard about hospice care, talked about it, and even supported it. But the concept of care really came to life when we witnessed, firsthand, the work of Hospice of the Red River Valley for our dear, family friend Norene Bunker. Only after seeing the care in action could we truly appreciate hospice.
Norene was an amazing lady. She, and her husband, Art, well-known as generous philanthropists, gave abundantly of their time and resources to countless organizations and individuals. After a lifetime of giving, how appropriate that Norene received a tremendous gift at the end of her life—she was allowed to die the way she wanted.
Ever independent, Norene was used to making decisions and doing things her way. Death was no different. Art’s passing, in 2009, prompted Norene to consider her own end-of-life wishes. When the time came, she knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to say so, even when her choices were unpopular. We were so grateful Hospice understood.
Always an intensely private woman, Norene specifically requested no one be present when she passed—not family, friends, or even a nurse. She wanted to be alone. Well-meaning friends and family didn’t always agree with her decisions, but Norene’s requests were her own. On March 26, 2013, Norene peacefully passed away, alone, while watching the news—an activity she loved.
For four months, Hospice nurses and CNAs had cared for Norene, and kept her comfortable and pain-free, all the while preparing us. We felt anxious, but Hospice reassured us and educated us on the stages of death so we knew what to expect. Even now, months later, we still receive bereavement support. When Norene made the decision to go on hospice care, at the time, we had no idea what a wonderful gift she was giving us.
We learned it takes a truly special team of professionals to provide hospice care, and the support of the entire community to ensure this care continues in the future. Norene felt a special joy in helping and giving, and Hospice of the Red River Valley needs our support. We can think of no better way to honor Norene’s memory than by giving to those who gave her, and us, so much.
Please join us in continuing Norene and Art’s philanthropic legacy by giving your gift to Hospice of the Red River Valley.
“I knew if I needed them, all I had to do was pick up the phone and they’d be there. I could not have done this [cared for loved ones], twice, without Hospice.”
Imagine, for a moment, facing the news that two of your closest loved ones are terminally ill—just a few short years apart. Mary Nelson experienced just that, when her mother, Evelyn, and husband, Donovon, became ill within four years of each other. While for many the decision to call hospice is a last resort, for Mary, making the call for her most precious loved ones was made with no reluctance.
“My mother went into hospice care twice. The first time her condition improved so much she was discharged!” Mary said. “The second time, she was cared for by Hospice for only two-three weeks before her death.”
Mary was in California when Hospice called and said her mother was unresponsive. “When I got home, I spent the night with her,” Mary remembered. “As I was leaving in the morning to go change clothes, my son, Ron, stopped to see Nana. As I walked through the door at home, Ron called. He said, ‘She’s going, Mom.’ He put the phone to my mother’s ear and I told her I loved her and daddy was waiting for her. Then she was gone.” Evelyn peacefully passed away at age 96 with Hospice and her grandson there when she passed.
With Mary’s mother residing at an assisted living facility, Mary did not have as much personal contact with Hospice staff outside of meetings. Regardless, Mary recognized the value hospice care brought to her mother’s life, and when the time came to call Hospice for Donovon, she didn’t hesitate.
“Donovon had no resistance,” Mary recalled. “He had been falling, and I was worried about caring for him. I told him I knew how we could keep him at home—hospice. Donovon said, ‘Call them. I like my house. I love my bed. I want to stay.’” So they did. Mary made the call.
For six months, Donovon was cared for by Hospice of the Red River Valley in their home where both he and Mary experienced the full scope and support of hospice services. “Jerry, Donovon’s CNA, was a Godsend,” Mary remembered. “Jerry would bathe and shave him. And Donovon would joke around with Jerry, and his nurse, Gloria. He really enjoyed them.”
In the early stages of hospice care, Donovon still enjoyed the same things he had always loved. Quickly identifying all of the coffee shops in town with comfortable chairs, the couple went out almost daily for coffee. Because Donovon was an avid reader, they went to all of the libraries in town so he could enjoy biographies and follow his beloved Minnesota Gophers.
“A few days before he died, he put his arm around me and said, ‘Thank you for taking care of me,’” Mary described. Two days later, on February 19, 2011, Donovon passed away at age 88, in his home, with his wife of 35 years at his side.
“I would not have done anything differently,” Mary said. “Even knowing now what it would involve, I’d do it again. But I could not have done it without trained hospice professionals, on-hand, to guide and support me.”
After witnessing hospice care first-hand, Mary believes it’s important that hospice care be available to our children and grandchildren, and she has made the decision and financial commitment to include Hospice of the Red River Valley in her will. “It feels good to give. Especially to an organization that’s helped me so much.” She had already been supporting Hospice through memorial gifts, but adding Hospice of the Red River Valley in a codicil to her will was an easy decision, and process, that allows for flexibility and future change.
“I have been truly blessed in my life. I have a wonderful family and enjoyed a fulfilling career. I have more than I need,” Mary said. “Hospice of the Red River Valley helped me when I needed help. It’s payback time. To me, it just makes sense to continue giving beyond my lifetime, just as I give now.”
“A hug is a blanket of kindness.” – unknown author
Greeted by a hug and a warm smile, any guest to Joan’s home is considered an instant friend. It’s no surprise Joan is a “hugger.” For the past several months, her fingers have carefully weaved vibrant, colorful strings of yarn this way and that, creating the material embodiment of a hug—crocheted blankets.
It’s a lost art form, a labor of love. And for Joan, crocheting blankets turned into a saving grace. In December 2013, Joan suddenly lost her husband, Ralph. Immersed in her grief, Joan coped as best she could by staying busy. “I told myself, I gotta do something,” Joan recalled.
Accustomed to being busy, Joan’s no stranger to hard work. Throughout their nearly 68-year marriage, Joan and Ralph raised three boys and built seven houses on their 15-acre lake property. “I’ve done it all,” Joan explained. “I’ve been on rooftops and raised walls.” And when Ralph’s diabetes took his legs, Joan lovingly cared for him, too—until the very end.
In the early morning hours of Christmas day, with Joan by his side at the lake home he so loved, Ralph peacefully passed away under the care of Hospice of the Red River Valley. Because of Ralph’s rapid decline, Joan was overcome with shock and sorrow. She began channeling her emotions into her handmade creations as a way to handle the uncertainty and loneliness of the days and months ahead.
Years before, after picking up an instructional book, Joan had taught herself how to crochet. And now, her fingers and mind have found solace in the rhythmic motion of crocheting. “Making these lap robes have helped me with my grief so much,” Joan shared.
To make each blanket, it takes Joan a minimum of 10 hours. And, after hundreds of hours, several patterns and countless bundles of yarn, Joan has meticulously made 14 intricate, brightly colored, crocheted lap blankets. Adding to her homemade gifts, she made a dozen bib aprons, complete with pockets and finished with lace trim. Joan decided to share her creations with Hospice of the Red River Valley by donating all of her handiwork to patients. “I hope these blankets and aprons will brighten someone’s day,” Joan said.
Crocheting blankets is just one of the many ways Joan copes with her grief. Even though Ralph was only cared for by Hospice for a short time, less than two days, Joan has the option to receive grief support care and resources from Hospice of the Red River Valley for 13 months. She attended a grief support group offered by Hospice and visited with a Hospice grief specialist. “It’s very helpful to visit with people with similar experiences,” Joan said of the grief support group.
At age 88, Joan shows no signs of slowing down. Joan exercises three times each week at the local community center, tries her luck at the casino on Thursdays and plays games on the Internet each night before bed. “I even found some crochet patterns online,” Joan proudly shared.
More than 4,000 miles away and 50 years ago, while growing up in Leicester, England, Hazel Meidlinger couldn’t have imagined the significant role Hospice would play in her life. She was familiar with the concept of hospice care because of its English roots, a movement started by Dame Cicely Saunders in 1948. “I heartily believed in hospice long before it was started in America because I recognized the importance of that type of care at the end of life,” Hazel explained. “I’m very much in-tune with it.” But as she busied herself with establishing a family, Hazel didn’t think much about hospice until many years later when a volunteer opportunity arose.
A Family Formed While still in England, Hazel met the love of her life, Harold, while he was stationed there for the U.S. Air Force. Soon after they met, the couple married and welcomed the first of four children into their family. In 1955, Harold completed his service in the Air Force, and the Meidlinger family transplanted to America, making Council Bluffs, Iowa, their first home abroad. In the early 70s, the family, which had increased by three more girls, moved to Fargo, N.D., for Harold’s work, and Hazel continued to be a stay-at-home “mum”—raising their children.
Right Place, Right Time It wasn’t until after their girls were grown that Hazel sought to continue volunteering as she did in Iowa. “Back in Iowa, I was somewhat involved in animal rescue, and I enjoyed that experience, and I wanted to do something here after the girls were gone from the house,” Hazel said. Her good works began at Dakota Hospital where she helped run the gift shop, and she said the experience was “just delightful.”
While working at the hospital, Hazel met two individuals who were instrumental in getting her involved with Heirlooms, an upscale resale store benefitting Hospice of the Red River Valley (HRRV). “I thought the whole concept of Heirlooms was just really neat,” Hazel explained. “Hospice was just getting the store started, and after listening to a presentation about the story of Hospice of the Red River Valley and their idea for Heirlooms, I just knew I had to help.”
Since the store’s inception in 2003, an upbeat, merry Hazel has greeted Heirlooms patrons at the front counter on Saturday afternoons, and even in her 80s, she wouldn’t have it any other way. “I look forward to my volunteering there, and I’ve never even thought about stopping,” she said. “I’m going to continue volunteering at Heirlooms as long as they’ll have me.”
Staffed by more than 70 volunteers, Heirlooms isn’t just a place of business to Hazel, but rather it’s a place with a wonderful atmosphere where she considers everyone as friends. She frequently sees familiar faces from the community. “I love the people there—both volunteers and shoppers, and I don’t consider what I do work because it’s such a pleasure,” Hazel described. “The other volunteers and the management staff are just wonderful.”
Something More In early 2014, Hazel’s experience with Hospice of the Red River Valley deepened when her husband, Harold, began receiving care. For many years prior, Hazel looked after her husband who suffered from dementia, and when it was time for Hospice, Hazel welcomed the help. “I didn’t feel like the world was on my shoulders anymore; I didn’t feel alone,” she explained. “Even though my husband wasn’t on hospice care for very long, the Hospice staff was a great comfort and help to me and my family.” Hazel described her primary Hospice registered nurse as “kindness herself” and added the staff was always “very concerned with her husband’s care.”
Shortly after Harold began hospice care, he passed away, but Hazel remains grateful for the cares he received. “Now that I’ve seen the way Hospice helped our family, it’s all the more reason for me to continue supporting the organization,” she said. “I saw firsthand the kind of care people are receiving, and it’s so important because we’re all going to be there one day. I totally believe in Hospice.”
As the days go by and Hazel’s journey continues, she looks forward to the weekends when she works at Heirlooms. Smiling, Hazel added, “I feel great when I’m there and knowing that my work helps support such a wonderful organization that has given so much to others.”
At Hospice of the Red River Valley, we are fortunate to have many dedicated volunteers. We celebrate their contributions to the organization. Click to find out more information about our volunteer program and how to apply.
Mark Twain once said, “Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection—that is the last and final and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.” Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) Jenny, at Hospice of the Red River Valley, has earned that ultimate prize—affection—from our patient, Caroline.
At age 89, Caroline was accustomed to taking care of things herself or with the help of her husband, who recently passed away. In October 2013, Caroline began receiving hospice care, and ever since then, she’s received not only exceptional care through Jenny, but has also found a friend. “I call her my Jenny,” Caroline explained. “She has a real spark of life in her. She has a full plate besides me, but you wouldn’t know it when she’s taking care of me.”
Jenny provides Caroline with basic cares, such as bathing and hair washing, but she also is careful to leave a little time for special things like painting Caroline’s nails or chatting over a cup of coffee. “It’s the extra small things that add up for someone,” Jenny said. “I so enjoy the time I spend with Caroline.” Jenny has worked as a CNA with Hospice of the Red River Valley for five years and has formed a real bond with pleasant, easygoing Caroline. “Patients like Caroline make my work so much easier,” Jenny explained.
Anyone who has spent a little time with Caroline and Jenny together can see it—the undeniable connection the two share, building such a rapport with one another, it’s like they’ve known each other for years.“I have up and down days, but she’s given me such wonderful help,” Caroline said. “Jenny’s my right arm, and I couldn’t survive without her.”
The cares Jenny provides are precious to Caroline, just as the entire hospice experience has been for her. Caroline said hospice care is more than she expected. “Hospice takes a real interest in you,” she described. “I’ve had people just stop in on their way to visit someone else, and I think it’s so nice Hospice takes the time to do that. You know you’re in good hands,” Caroline said.
In addition to “her” Jenny’s help, Caroline’s oldest son, David, also provides support. “He usually has coffee and a sandwich out for me,” Caroline said. “He’s helped me so much.” David is one of four children—three sons and one daughter—Caroline raised in the house she and David now reside in.
“I just love it when my Jenny comes to visit,” Caroline said with a smile. “She’s the best, and I look forward to it.”
Vibrant, colorful tattoos cover Steve Smedshammer’s arms. Oversized, exaggerated earrings stretch his earlobes. A scratchy beard covers his face. By appearance alone, some might label Steve a hipster, or alternative. Few might be surprised to learn he plays guitar in a metal band. But, Steve is so much more than what meets the eye.
You don’t know by looking that Stevo, as he prefers to be called, is a recent pre-med graduate of Concordia College. At age 30, he and his new bride are expecting their first child. Between attending school, working full-time and playing in two bands, he also regularly volunteers his time at local non-profit organizations, including Hospice of the Red River Valley.
“It’s not something I advertise,” Stevo said, humbly. “And, it’s not something I do just to put on my resume.” He believes by getting involved, and having well-rounded experiences, the “payouts” are exponential.
Stevo was introduced to Hospice of the Red River Valley while attending Concordia College. There, in his Biomedical Ethics class, a speaker from Hospice addressed the class. “I thought, to be a volunteer, you had to have certain prerequisites or medical background,” Stevo shared. “When I learned I could join an organization and immediately make a contribution, I was sold. I knew that same day I would apply as a volunteer.”
While some people are intimidated by the idea of being a hospice volunteer, Stevo quickly relaxed into the role. He made an instant connection with his first patient, Joe*. They bonded through a shared love of music and spend their visits listening to Johnny Cash, Patsy Cline and “Americana” style music. “Joe asked me to sing to him once, but after years of scream-singing in a metal band, he hasn’t asked again,” Stevo said with a laugh.
As a musician who plays 16 instruments, including guitar, accordion, ukulele, cello, melodica and more, Stevo was the just person to help Joe achieve his goal of learning how to play guitar before he died. And so they began lessons. When the guitar became too much for Joe to handle, they switched to ukulele.
“Joe almost nailed a three minute song. It was so rewarding to see him pull it off,” Stevo described with a smile, recalling a favorite moment with his new friend. “He’s normally pretty self-deprecating, but after that song, he actually complimented himself. That was a proud moment for both of us. We celebrated with a high-five.”
Whether strumming his guitar and chatting, or sitting at a bedside during a Pathway visit, Stevo is a natural.
“When we received Stevo’s application and spoke with him, it was obvious to us that he has a wonderful, giving spirit,” Deb Kluck, manager of clinical development – volunteer services, said. “Stevo is not our ‘typical’ volunteer, and we’re thrilled about that. We need all types of people to help make our patients’ end-of-life experiences fulfilling. Variety is the spice of life, even at the end of life.”
“Most people think they could never be a hospice volunteer. I think if more people gave it a try, they’d be surprised,” Stevo explained. “If you enjoy talking with your grandpa, grandma, parents, aunts or uncles, having a conversation, just being present with people, you can be a hospice volunteer. It’s not bleak; it’s actually an overwhelmingly positive experience.”
Being a hospice volunteer has given Stevo a new perspective on life and an enhanced appreciation for his health. Volunteering with Hospice has also taught him a lot about time. “Sometimes you just need to be still, sit down and savor the quiet moments,” he explained. “People don’t just sit anymore.”
For Stevo, the rush of helping someone else is addictive. He recalls, his grandmother was cared for by Hospice, and he remembers her nurse as “the lighthouse in the storm.”
“Sometimes, just knowing someone else cares, outside of the family, can be comforting,” Stevo said. “I can do that.”
*Please note: The patient’s name has been changed to protect his privacy.
At Hospice of the Red River Valley, we are fortunate to have many dedicated volunteers. We celebrate their contributions to the organization. Click to find out more information about our volunteer program and how to apply.
Sometimes you meet someone and a natural connection just happens, like an unstoppable force of magnetism. That’s precisely what happened for volunteer Breanna Hanan and hospice patient, Alice.* What started out as a routine college credit requirement, quickly turned into meaningful life lessons and an unexpected friendship.
Breanna, an upbeat, cheerful young lady pursuing a nursing degree at North Dakota State College of Science (NDSCS), was required to complete 20 hours of volunteer service as part of her education. Having witnessed hospice care in a nursing home where she works as a certified nursing assistant (CNA) for three years, Breanna sought out a volunteer opportunity with Hospice of the Red River Valley to fulfill her requirement. In Oct. 2013, she was matched with her first patient, Alice.
Volunteer Coordinator Kristi Sherven recognized the opportunity for Breanna to connect with Alice because Breanna’s commute to and from class in Wahpeton, N.D., had her driving through Alice’s hometown of Wolverton, Minn., regularly. “I had hoped Breanna would stop by on her way to NDSCS to provide a companionship visit twice a month,” Kristi said. “But Alice enjoyed Breanna so much, she asked if she could change the request to weekly visits.”
From their first meeting, Breanna’s time spent with Alice consisted of much more than companionship, as they were comfortable with each other almost immediately. The two spent hours together completing tasks that were too cumbersome or extensive for the patient to tackle by herself.
Breanna helped clean and sort through clothing, among other projects. “I’m not a baker, but Alice had been a home economics teacher, so we made cookies together,” Breanna explained with a smile, recalling a favorite visit with Alice. “She showed me what to do every step of the way.” Another enjoyable task was sorting photos and arranging them in albums. “Alice had many photos from her travels to Europe and the East Coast, and I really liked looking through them with her,” she said.
Not only were the activities fun, but the patient and volunteer found a common thread in their senses of humor. “We’re both so silly,” Breanna described. “We enjoy each other’s company.” They connected through their silliness, but also on a deeper level. “Alice has a very positive outlook on life,” Breanna explained. “She’s taught me how to live in the moment and not to focus on the negative.”
Kristi understands the importance of pairing appropriate volunteers with patients. “Sometimes a natural bond forms between the volunteer and patient, and things just click,” she explained. “My heart was warmed when I heard Breanna talk of her time with Alice.” Breanna even requested to continue visiting Alice after her required credit hours were complete; even Minnesota winters can’t keep her away!
Kristi observed, “Breanna has gone above and beyond, and shown true dedication. Roundtrip to and from Alice’s house is 50 miles, and Breanna stays for up to two-and-a-half hours with Alice each visit!”
Breanna had already considered a career in hospice care before volunteering, but the experience further strengthened her interest in the field and the organization. “I didn’t know the whole team of separate disciplines came together to care for each patient so completely,” Breanna said. All team members–including physicians, registered nurses, CNAs, social workers, chaplains and grief specialists–attend regular meetings to discuss each patient’s care plan in detail.
While Breanna completes her degree, she intends to continue volunteering well beyond her required credit hours. “I love how compassionate everyone is at Hospice,” Breanna shared. To people who think they could never volunteer for Hospice, she says “It’s fun! Alice is like my grandma, and I really enjoy visiting her.”
Editor’s note: To respect patient privacy, the patient’s name has been changed in this story.
At Hospice of the Red River Valley, we are fortunate to have many dedicated volunteers. We celebrate their contributions to the organization. Click to find out more information about our volunteer program and how to apply.
On a rural farm in Ulen, Minn., a long-sought-after dream came true for Sonny, Hospice of the Red River Valley patient, when he received a phone call from Nashville, Tenn. On the other end of the telephone Sonny heard the voice of his favorite country music singer, Bill Anderson (also known as “Whispering Bill”). “My family kept saying the call was going to happen, but I just couldn’t believe it,” Sonny said. “Pretty soon, there was a call, and I heard, ‘Telephone, Dad, telephone!’ I knew something was cookin’.” Sonny and Bill discussed the weather, life and Bill’s music—making Wednesday, March 5, 2014, a memorable day for Sonny.
“I like music, and I used to play a jukebox, but I didn’t pay attention to the artists at the time,” Sonny explained. “It wasn’t until after I retired that I began to notice Bill was singing the songs I really enjoyed.” Sonny found a new hobby in not only listening to Bill’s music, but also in taping weekly episodes of the Country Family Reunion show, hosted by Bill. “I have 52 videos in my collection so far,” Sonny said. He also enjoys singing along to some of Bill’s classic tunes like, Bright Lights and Country Music.
Making the Dream Happen
In December 2013, Sonny began receiving care from Hospice of the Red River Valley in his rural home. His daughter, Pam, wanted to connect him to an organization like Make a Wish® with the hope her dad could one day meet Bill.
“I got to thinking, there must be a place with the ability to help adults who are at end of life,” Pam said. Through an online search, she located the Dream Foundation in Santa Barbara, Calif. The Foundation’s mission focuses on enhancing the quality of life for individuals and their families who face a life-threatening illness by fulfilling a heart’s final wish.
“I contacted the Dream Foundation, and they had an application specifically for hospice patients,” Pam explained. With the assistance of Hospice of the Red River Valley staff, the application was completed and submitted to the Foundation. “Hospice really helped us connect to the Dream Foundation and answer any questions the Foundation had about Dad,” she said.
Because of Sonny’s current prognosis, the application was promptly forwarded to the “emergency dream team” and placed at the top of the Dream Foundation’s wish list. Given Bill’s schedule, a phone call was arranged instead of an in-person meeting.
“All of a sudden, it just happened, and Bill was on the phone,” Pam described with excitement. “Hearing Dad talk with Bill was a beautiful thing.”
The Cherry on Top
Following the “dream” call, the Dream Foundation sent a CD from Bill, and Bill sent Sonny a package containing single-song DVDs and other artist memorabilia. “Bill had already sent me an autographed picture, but I’m happy to add the extra things to my collection,” Sonny said. “I couldn’t believe I actually got to talk to Bill. It was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.”
“I never thought in my wildest dreams I would go into people’s homes, but I’ve had a lot of wonderful experiences.”
After 30 years of service, Leona Laugeness has worn many hats at Hospice of the Red River Valley. While her dedication to the organization is noteworthy, when one considers her commitment is entirely in a volunteer capacity, her story extends beyond admirable, to remarkable. Only an elite few have volunteered for Hospice of the Red River Valley since its beginning.
Leona was first introduced to hospice care when her husband, Lloyd, received a terminal diagnosis of lung cancer. The year was 1981, and Lloyd was the fifth person cared for by Hospice of the Red River Valley. The hospice movement was just beginning in the United States, and at the time, many considered the idea of hospice to be a bit unconventional.
“At first, we were not receptive to hospice care, but finally relented,” Leona shares. “Both Lloyd and I felt our lives were our own. We didn’t want people coming around into our home during such an intimate time. We didn’t want people to know. We knew Lloyd would die at home whether we had hospice care or not.”
When their hospice nurse, Edie, was an hour late on the first visit, it did not warm their impression of hospice care. However, their minds quickly changed. By Edie’s third visit, Lloyd quipped, “There she is!” Leona recalls. Lloyd and Edie enjoyed their visits and were ultimately glad they had hospice care.
“The night before Lloyd died, I asked if he knew what was happening, and he said yes. I asked if he knew he may die before morning; again he said yes and added, ‘I have no regrets.’” After 28 years of marriage, Lloyd peacefully passed away on Nov. 28, 1981.
“Hospice helped prepare us for that conversation and that time,” shares Leona. “I otherwise probably would not have talked about it, out of fear of upsetting him. Hospice just made it easier.”
As a recipient of hospice care, Leona saw the need for volunteers firsthand. Despite her shy nature, Leona completed volunteer training in the fall of 1982, and visited her first patient in the spring of 1983. “I never thought in my wildest dreams I would go into people’s homes,” Leona shares. “But, I’ve had a lot of wonderful experiences.”
“I almost said no to visiting my first patient,” Leona recalls. “But I thought, I can’t turn down my first assignment!” The woman was the wife of a retired physician. “The doctor was very intimidating. I thought he would think, ‘Who do you think you are? What are you doing?’ But, I made my visits anyway,” Leona remembers. “I visited the patient for four or five months, and we would talk about the hereafter. The woman told me she didn’t fear death.”
“The doctor always intimidated me, but I knew I had made a break through after his wife’s death.” Leona shares. “The doctor said there would be no public viewing, family only, but if I would like to see her, I could. It was then I knew I had made his acceptance.”
Leona befriended countless patients and their family members throughout the years, and in the process, encountered all kinds.
“I once visited a woman who was very angry. The whole time I was with her, she would rant and rag about what she didn’t like about hospice care. After complaining for some time, she said to me, ‘You must be pretty loyal to hospice to do what you do.’ I remember telling her, ‘I think hospice is good because it allows patients to stay home, rather than be institutionalized or hospitalized. I’m loyal to the idea of hospice care.’ I wasn’t with her for too long, but we became good friends.”
Leona has been loyal to both the idea of hospice care and Hospice of the Red River Valley. Her initial reticence gave way to a lifetime of service, which has allowed the organization to carry out its mission—a mission she believes in.
Since 1982, Leona has worn many hats as a volunteer; she has faithfully visited patients, assisted with office tasks, offered respite care, represented Hospice at health fair booths and special events and assembled admission packets.
“I never thought I’d still be volunteering 30 years later,” Leona comments. “It just became a lifetime habit. My life is enriched by all the people I have met, even if I only see them for a few minutes.”
At Hospice of the Red River Valley, we are fortunate to have many dedicated volunteers. We celebrate their contributions to the organization. Click to find out more information about our volunteer program and how to apply.
Receiving a terminal diagnosis raises a flood of emotion. For those living in rural communities with limited medical resources, an additional fear can be the need to travel hundreds of miles for doctor’s appointments or face hospitalization in a city far from home.
Marjorie at home in Gwinner, N.D.
When Marjorie Wright of Gwinner, N.D., received such a diagnosis, she immediately knew she wanted something better. Without hesitation, she requested hospice care and was delighted to stay and be well cared for right in her home.
A cheerful, friendly woman in her mid 80s, Marjorie returned to North Dakota several years ago after living all over the country. She had grown up on a farm in rural Lisbon, but left the area as a young woman, first moving to Milwaukee in the early 1940s, and then to Orlando, Florida, where she worked in the cafeteria of a military base.
It was there she met her future husband, Bill, who she describes as a “southern gentleman, and a persistent fellow; he kept wanting to date me.” Bill’s persistence paid off, and he and Marjorie eventually married. Bill’s career took the family across the United States. Both of their children, Melissa and Steven, were born in Georgia. Eventually, they settled in New Mexico.
Always adventurous, Marjorie decided to pursue a nursing career once her children were in school. In 1960, she graduated in the second practical nursing class at a local hospital, and went on to spend 14 years working as a practical nurse. “I was always very healthy, and very active,” Marjorie explains, reflecting on her many years. The only exception was a cervical cancer diagnosis in her late 30s. She beat the cancer, and lived the next 45 years as a cancer survivor.
Wright Park in Gwinner, N.D. was named in honor of Marjorie.
After her husband passed away, Marjorie returned to the Gwinner area, eventually settling into a cozy townhome where she resided between her busy travels. She remained active, and especially enjoyed hiking and gardening. Her contributions to the Gwinner community were many. She often weeded the park near her home, wanting the children in the community to have a nice place to play. The town even honored her work by naming “Wright Park” in her honor.
Marjorie spent the winter of 2012 in Arizona, visiting her daughter, Melissa, as she had so many previous winters. “I had no idea anything was wrong, I felt really good,” Marjorie recalls. Things changed, however, when she came back home in May.
“In June, I started having back pain. I decided I should go to the doctor in Oakes, and the doctor decided to do a CT scan. I don’t know exactly what he saw, but it mustn’t have been good,” she remembers. “After looking at all the tests, the doctor explained the cancer was quite advanced, having already spread to the liver and lymph nodes,” Marjorie explains. “So, the doctor wondered what I wanted to do. He said, ‘Well, I could do the surgery, but the outcome of surgery and treatments may not be good and your quality of life may be less,’ and he didn’t want to put me through that unless I really wanted to.”
Instead, Marjorie made the decision she felt was best for her. “I told the doctor, ‘No. I had heard some good things about hospice.’” First, however, the doctor asked Marjorie to visit a specialist in Fargo for a second opinion, which she obliged.
“The doctor in Fargo asked if I wanted more tests, and I said no. I said, ‘I’d just like to sign up with hospice.’ He got on it right away, and signed me up with Hospice of the Red River Valley.”
Marjorie’s decision to forgo treatments and surgery for her advanced cancer has instead allowed her to focus on quality of life, and enjoying the same things she always has, while she still can. Marjorie partly credits her decision to ask her physician for hospice care based on the experience she had watching the wonderful care her brother, Richard, received from Hospice of the Red River Valley before he passed away in 2010.
Marjorie came under the care of Hospice of the Red River Valley in late July. To her delight, a close family friend, Pearl, was even assigned as one of her hospice nurses.
“I couldn’t want for a thing,” Marjorie says about her experience on hospice care. “My daughter came home from Arizona for a week, and we had a real good time. We had quality time together, allowing us to do some paperwork and things we need to take care of. I try to make all the preparations I can for my time here, and be ready for when it’s over.”
Most importantly, although Marjorie lives alone, she’s been able to have her symptoms managed right in the comfort of her own home. With Hospice of the Red River Valley, and the support of friends and family collaborating in her care, she’s been able to stay in the rural community she loves.
Marjorie with Pearl, one of her hospice visit nurses.
In addition to nursing care to regulate her medications and ensure she is comfortable, Marjorie receives visits from a hospice social worker and chaplain. The social worker has helped her get financial items in order, and the chaplain often sings to her on his visits. “He’s very nice to visit with,” Marjorie says with a smile.
Marjorie has seen how Hospice of the Red River Valley staff has provided comfort to her family, as well. “My daughter was worried, but I told her, ‘Melissa, you don’t have to worry about me, I don’t want for anything.’ I try to ease her mind a little bit. The nurses and social workers have been calling her, too, and she really appreciates it.”
Pearl has seen the positive effects of Marjorie’s optimistic attitude. “Marjorie just doesn’t dwell on how sick she is, or how sick she feels, at all,” Pearl explains.
Marjorie understands many other people may, at some point, struggle with a diagnosis like hers and will need to make decisions about care. She encourages people to consider hospice.
“I’ve already told a lot of people about hospice, because I’ve just had such wonderful care,” says Marjorie. “If people do ask, I tell them, ‘I have nothing but good things to say about hospice.’ I’ve just had wonderful care. They just meet my every need. I just think it’s a wonderful organization.”
Over the years, we have heard about hospice care, talked about it, and even supported it. But the concept of care really came to life when we witnessed, firsthand, the work of Hospice of the Red River Valley for our dear, family friend Norene Bunker. Only after seeing the care in action could we truly appreciate hospice.
Ever independent, Norene was used to making decisions and doing things her way. Death was no different. Art’s passing, in 2009, prompted Norene to consider her own end-of-life wishes. When the time came, she knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to say so, even when her choices were unpopular. We were so grateful Hospice understood.
We learned it takes a truly special team of professionals to provide hospice care, and the support of the entire community to ensure this care continues in the future. Norene felt a special joy in helping and giving, and Hospice of the Red River Valley needs our support. We can think of no better way to honor Norene’s memory than by giving to those who gave her, and us, so much.
Because of Sonny’s current prognosis, the application was promptly forwarded to the “emergency dream team” and placed at the top of the Dream Foundation’s wish list. Given Bill’s schedule, a phone call was arranged instead of an in-person meeting.
